So, this
morning I'm sitting on the couch watching "Horrible Bosses," which is
a funny movie, and before long Jennifer Aniston pops out in some rather
provocative lingerie and I'm thinking to myself, she looks pretty good for
someone close to fifty (don't get upset, I feel the same way about Brad Pitt,
what I'm trying to say is that this observation is not sexual in nature) and
this train of thought leads me to the inevitable remembrance that she once
dated Jason Sudeikis. Which of course translates into the fact that she is not
the only Hollywood beauty to have done so: he also dated January Jones
(reportedly breaking up with her because she wanted to have a baby) and is
currently dating Olivia Wilde (who just got divorced from a fucking prince, no less)!
So, will someone please tell me how this is even remotely
possible? Now, don't get me wrong, I like to believe as much as the next guy
that there is a chance Hollywood A-Lister's will date men of average good looks
and only a modicum of fame, but what irks me most is that rumor has it these
women fall for him because he is funny! Sure, he tells a good dick joke, but he
isn't even the funniest CURRENT member of Saturday Night Live! If this is the
case, then Andy Samberg should be stepping in to fill Seal's shoes with Heidi
Klum (another whacked out, implausible couple, which thank God is over because
it only re-enforced my opinion that you actually CAN sell your soul to the
devil), and Kristen Wiig should soon be announcing her relationship with Jesus
(the deity, not the gardener).
The only thing I can think of here is that January Jones really wanted a baby and Jennifer
Aniston really wanted a baby and that
Olivia Wilde must really want a
baby...but Sudeikis, wily, "of course I want to have kids, like four of
them" dinner conversation, Jason Sudeikis, really does NOT want to have a baby, but desperate mid-thirties, to
early forties Hollywood women are willing to believe anything once that
biological clock starts ticking away.
No comments:
Post a Comment